


Kissing Dares

by rednow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Anthropophobia, Anxious Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Fear of disappointing, Fluff, Harry Potter Needs a Hug, Harry Potter is a Good Boyfriend, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, NOT SMUT don't read if you're expecting smut ffs, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, POV Harry Potter, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Post-Hogwarts, Shopping, Shopping Malls, draco has a panic attack, draco is a soft boi, french fries are lovely, harry tries to help, malls, there might or might not be a giggling Draco at the end who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rednow/pseuds/rednow
Summary: “How do kissing dares sound?”Harry raised an eyebrow. “That's not what I meant when I said we should spice up your first trip to the shopping centre, y’know.”Or, Draco spontaneously decides he wants to kiss people to get over an irrational fear and Harry is just Tired lmao.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Kissing Dares

**Author's Note:**

> draco... is messed in the head. harry loves him, so fucking much. help me i love them
> 
> happy reading! <3

“How do kissing dares sound?”

Harry raised an eyebrow.

Draco looked amused. He crossed his arms and leaned lightly against the aisle of cereal boxes. “What, a bit of kissing did nobody no harm.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair, the other holding a trolley in place. “That's not… that's not what I meant when I said we should spice up your first trip to the shopping centre, y’know.”

Draco smirked. “Here, pass that,” he said, reaching out for the almost full trolley. Their hands met for the briefest of seconds, and Harry sucked in breath. Draco rolled the trolley and sauntered forward, rows of muggle supplies on both his sides, and Harry followed.

They walked in silence for a minute before Draco paused and cocked his head to his side. “We don't have to, really. Just… just trying something different, I guess. And anyways–” He broke off abruptly, and stared ahead.

“Anyways what?” Harry's voice was gentle.

“And anyways,” Draco turned to look at Harry again, his eyes bright. “I– I thought it was time I did something to get over my fear of people.” 

Fuck, Harry wanted to touch Draco.

Controlling himself, Harry said, “You don't have to force yourself to overcome a fear.” Draco just looked at him. “And as for kissing people so you don’t hate them… that's just stupid.”

Draco laughed, and the tension broke. The idea had come randomly, and he'd not really thought about it before blurting it out. It did feel stupid to kiss other people when he was with the love of his life but then–

“You won't ditch me if I kiss others though?” A suppressed grin was growing on his face.

Harry stared, bemused. “Oh, definitely, beloved. Try me.”

Draco chuckled and resumed walking. Ten seconds in though, the small smile on his face drooped, and he felt troubled. 

“Harry,” he turned.

“Yes, my beloved?”

Draco exhaled in annoyance. “Don't be a git.” At Harry's chuckle, Draco continued. “What if… what if I never get over it?”

Harry looked at him. “I'm scared of being this scared, Harry. It hurts, being this way. Being me. This fear, it– it eats me alive. And I'm not okay with that.” Draco mumbled, facing Harry but not looking at him.

“Well I thought I was the only one eating you out.”

“Harry!”

Harry's eyes were twinkling and Draco really wanted to kiss him. Maybe it was just his eyes he had fallen for anyway.

Harry coughed and Draco binked away his daydream. Harry bit his lower lip and said,“Then we'll do your kissing dares.”

His voice seemed defiant but Draco caught the slight indecision laced in it. He felt a hot numbness envelop the back of his neck and fingertips and he felt sick. The trolley in front of him suddenly felt like a burden he couldn't carry. 

He tried. “And… and you're okay with that?” Draco's small voice was almost painful.

“And I'm okay with that.” Harry never broke eye contact.

“But…” Draco trailed off. He really didn't understand himself at times. And he definitely didn't understand what he wanted.

Harry took the trolley again, gently unclasping Draco's fingers off the handle, and took a few steps forward, motioning Draco to follow.

Yet Draco was rooted. The numbness had spread all over now. It suffocated him, burnt him and iced him all at the same time holding him down to one spot, trapping him. 

“I– I was... never brave like you, Harry,” he said softly. “I'm weak, selfish, unkind…” Draco wanted to die.

Harry stopped walking and his hand gripped the handle hard, and for a second he felt so, _so_ scared. Recovering somewhat, he said without reverting back, “You're not what you tell yourself, Draco. You're… you're so much. You're so much more than you credit yourself of.” His voice lacked the consolation Draco deserved and Harry hated himself for it.

“But I hurt you! I bullied you for years, I– I helped set the  Fiendfyre on you in school! Crabbe _died._ I let Father tell me what to be, I– I lied to myself for years that I wasn't gay, and the night when I finally accepted, I slit my wrists open because I was ashamed of who I was! I let myself hide in the corners, I shut myself in and last night– last night I yelled at you–” Draco was on a roll now and Harry stood dead, not knowing what to do. He didn't want to turn back.

Draco paused. “I yelled at you.” Harry glanced back at him, a pale, stricken face, and left the trolley.

“Draco.” Harry approached him, to which Draco took two steps backwards, his face looking just like it once did in sixth year.

“No– please, let me–” he started, but Harry's lips cut him off. Draco made a small, bewildered noise but didn't do anything to push Harry away, so Harry pressed on.

His lips melted over Draco's like they did every time, but today, Draco just wasn't cooperating. Harry felt a sharp pain strike his lower gut as he tried to caress Draco's cheekbones with his thumb, his hands running over Draco's hair while Draco did nothing. He did nothing, but Harry had to. He had to show Draco that he was loved. That he meant everything. That he was beautiful, kind and everything Harry had ever wanted.

With a quick burning kiss on Draco's jaw, Harry pulled back, panting. Draco's hair was disheveled, his cheeks flushed red and as Harry looked at his bright panicky eyes, his heart broke a little.

“I love you, darling. I love you so much.” Harry's voice cracked, and Draco just looked so… wild. Harry wanted to say so much more, console him so much– but he didn't know how. He never seemed to know how.

Draco kept staring, saying nothing and although a part of Harry wanted to hold him, shake him, make him notice just how much he was loved, Harry felt helpless.

“Draco…” His voice trailed off and at that moment, the strange cageness of the air that Harry had felt around him broke. Draco looked at him the way he’d done the first time they’d kissed, and reached two fingers up to his jaw where Harry had kissed him.

And quite suddenly, as Harry stared, the nervousness of it driving him insane, the tension shattered and Draco broke into a half smile. Harry pulled him in a hug.

* * *

“You should've validated me. Validation works every time.”

Draco, the god of bipolarity, his mouth stuffed with french fries. The big packets of homely shopping were piled on the floor, next to the table they were seated around. Harry wondered if he could just bang his head without being noticed.

“Validation. You. Do you even– Merlin, you know what, I'm not even gonna bother with this.”

Draco giggled. A pretty sight. Their shopping done, they'd popped in for a quick eat at Freshly Fried, and Harry realised just how much he loved being here. The shopping centre was mostly just muggles, nobody stared at him– and that evening, just him and Draco, felt perfect. He tried to not think about the time when he'd almost lost Draco.

Draco picked another fry, this one off Harry's plate, and that woke him up.

“Hey!”

“Stay lost in your daydreams and all of these fries will be whooped up.” Draco shrugged an eyebrow. _Whooped up._ A small smile appeared on Harry's face which left when Draco spoke next.

“So… what about the kissing dares, though?” Draco's pale blue eyes were curious and questioning and Harry knew that this time, the words weren't just blurted out, Draco truly wanted Harry's opinion.

“Tell me why you need to kiss someone to not hate them.” Harry began analytically.

“Because… I– I like kissing?” Draco began and Harry smiled in spite of himself. “I mean, when you kiss someone, it's just… so nice–” Draco blushed then gave a triumphant smile, leaning back on his orange plastic chair. “Oh, I know. Maybe it's to make you realise I _am_ the better kisser.”

Harry's eyes widened. “Wait a second, do you mean– oh Christ, Draco, I am _not_ accompanying you in your kissing desires.”

“Caught on, have you? We can do it turn by turn!” Draco ignored Harry's wince and took his hand across the table. “If you're ready, say hurray!”

Harry looked at their intertwined hands. “No.”

Draco tried again. “Say hurray!”

Eyebrows slightly raised, Harry opened his mouth to argue again but stopped. Instead, he just said, “Not happening, Draco.”

“Harry. Say. Hurray.”

“Nope.”

“Pretty please? Hurray?”

Draco's mouth was a pouted, stubborn line, his beautiful eyes were soft and kind, and Harry wanted to protect him at all costs. Yet time had taught him that he had to let people fight their own battles sometimes, even if it meant letting Draco kiss strangers for no obvious reason.

That said, Draco had _always_ been the better kisser, and Harry felt tired. Draco just didn't seem to acknowledge how… good he was– and he would bring up his worst traits every time they fought and– oh god. Harry was tired.

Harry sighed.

“Hurray.”

**Author's Note:**

> ok no, that one time i decide to use find and replace to change "mall" to "shopping centre" (my brit friend told me they call it that) every. single. 'small' gets corrected to 'sshopping centre'. 
> 
> so draco didn't have a small smile on his face, it was a bright, majestic, shopping center smile. pain.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed! leave a kudos/comment if you did - the ao3 comment box is all yours :)
> 
> ps, [my twitter](https://twitter.com/REDN0W_) for more bullshit


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